Please don't call me Jerk!

....... Something based on my imagination only!!!

"I am going,you always make fun of me and call me a jerk" He said. turned back and began walking. He looked innocent and cute, nagging.
"I shall never let you go in the first place...I am sorry, din't mean to hurt you", she replied,came running and gave him a hug.
"can I ever leave you,ask urself...? I was kidding" he smiled.
"Can't you stay quite for one moment u jerk..." she whispered as her eyes were close and she has holding him tight, their arms wrapped around.
"I am going.... I hate you... you said you wont call me a jerk again", he started to take his arms off her.
"I shall never let you go...my jerk", she held him tighter.

No one strokes my hair like MAA

When I’m low, I just need to bury my head in maa’s lap. That’s heaven on earth for me. Everything else pales into comparison. I love the soothing feel of her hands; I love the warmth in her voice. I love the way she kisses me, I love the way she hugs me, I love the way she calls me embarrassing nick names and I love the way she continuous calls me when I’m late. I also enjoy her occasional nagging and lecturing.

Mum’s the world: My life revolves around her; even if we don’t communicate regularly, even if we are at loggerheads, even if we choose to disagree on some issues. The fact is I CAN’T LIVE WIHTOUT HER.

My mother loves me unconditionally. I’ve been a bitch at times, I’ve misbehaved, I’ve answered back- and she- she has loved me the same. She continues to love me regardless of any changes in my behavior. This is such a motherly trait.

God! I feel awful, I feel guilty about those times.

Only mothers are capable of loving unconditionally. Isn’t it?

No one can ever love me like my mother. I’m convinced. No one can stroke my hair like she does.

My mother invariably feels I’ve not eaten enough. (even if I’ve eaten like a pig). She doesn’t get bored of telling me I’ve lost weight, I’ve become anemic and that I’m not eating enough. (This is useless for considering the way I’ve been hogging of late. And I’m far from anemic). Mothers will be mothers!

There are times when I’m convinced I’m looking my worst and she’ll still (confidently) tell me I’m looking stunning. Man! Mothers are sooo cute!

I really look up to my mother- for the way she has brought me up, for the values she has instilled in me, for the innumerable sacrifices she has made, for the way she has conducted herself, for the way she has handled the family.

I love the way mom pampers me and puts me to sleep when I’m distressed. I love the way she cooks; I love the way she feeds me with her own hands.

I somehow feel very scared of losing my mother. I have this gnawing fear. I don’t know why and I HATE this feeling. Though I am going home within two days, but still missing her like anything right this moment!! :(

Fairy Tales Are Not For Me

I know that the 'perfect guy' just doesn’t exist. Neither does the perfect girl. I believe no person is 'perfect'. You gotta accept people with their perfections and imperfections.

There is no Mr Right or Ms Right. Fairy tales are NOT for me.

I admit, I am a sucker for candy floss romance, romantic Bollywood films , soul stirring romantic songs, but I also understand the difference between reel life and real life.

I am single. I am not involved in any relationship. My parents are looking for me. My intuition tells me I’ll be married early NEXT year.

I don’t have any unreasonable high fundo expectations from life. I am 24, and I have a fair idea of what to expect from life. I am not waiting for some knight in shining armour to rescue me from a near life-threatening situation. My head is firmly planted on my shoulders.

I have always been hounded by this one question- “What is your idea of an ideal partner?”

When I was a teenager, I cared too much about looks. I was obsessed with my own looks and those I associated myself with. I had this silly list of what my ideal man should be like- rich, intelligent, Greek God looks…pampering me 24*7 …

Thankfully, I have matured and evolved as a person… As I grew older, I realized that finding all the good qualities and good points in one single person is expecting the impossible. Moreover, am I perfect? Am I flawless? Do I have ALL the great qualities a man would want in his ideal woman?

Today, I have a different answer to the question pertaining to my ideal guy: I want to marry a guy who genuinely values my feelings and emotions. Who genuinely cares about me. Who respects me and my family, someone who respects my upbringing and values. I want to marry a guy who believes in himself, who dares to dream. Who encourages me to dream. Who doesn’t stop me from working, from realizing my dreams. Who is NOT superficial. Who is NOT obsessed with status & dowry. Who is genuinely open minded. My guy has to be career-driven. A dreamer. A doer.

He should not be commitment phobic. He should be polite, humble and sensitive to others. (Men who are rude to waiters/waitresses turn me off. Just because they 'serve' us, it does not give us the license to be rude to them).

Respecting my family is very very important. Extremely important. Respecting his own family is also very important. Respecting ‘our’ families is important.

‘smartness’ matters a hell lot to me! A guy who is not chivalrous puts me off like nothing else does. Disloyal, promiscuous men are a major put off as well.

Men who depend on their fathers turn me offfffff!!! It’s a major major turn off!

I respect self-made men. Men like my brother. I would love to marry someone like him. Confident, independent, successful, affectionate, dashing and level headed- someone who knows what he wants, someone who is secure, who is at peace with himself. A FIGHTER- looking life in the eyes and taking each challenge head on! That is my type!

Shadi Aaj Kal

Today is my uncle n aunt's 25th wedding anniversary. Early morning I called them and gave my well wishes. I started my day then but through out the day I kept remembering the stories I heard from my parents and grandparents about how their marriage got fixed and how it took place.

Now I and most of my friends are in the age, where our parents are worried about our marriage. But search and selection process for the groom/bride is very much different than what it was some 20 years back. I thought, let me share my views about the changes seen in arranged marriage process from yesterday to today on my blog. So here’s my view on Shadi aaj kal. :)

No 1#

Shadi Kal: Selection or rejection of boy/girl was based on their photo given for marriage proposal.

Shadi Aaj: Selection or rejection of boy/girl is not based on just their photo. As with the help of new software any one can look awesome in photo. (Now a day’s even swami ji says that the video is morphed :), then what’s there in a photo :P)

No 2#

Shadi Kal: First face to face meeting of boy and girl was in their mandap at the time of wedding.

Shadi Aaj: Boy and girl can’t even think of marriage without meeting in person.

No 3#

Shadi Kal: No dating, orkut, facebook, email, Gmail, chatting, tweeting, texting, and phone calls before marriage.

Shadi Aaj: dating, orkut, facebook, email, Gmail, chatting, tweeting, texting, and phone calls continue for 2 to 3 week, as a process of data collection which will help in decision making.

No 4#

Shadi Kal: Girl should cook very well. She should be master in all homely work.

Shadi Aaj: Girl should earn very well. She should be ready to pay half of her salary to the home maid.

No 5#

Shadi Kal: You can find the perfect bride/groom through your pandit or relative’s network.

Shadi Aaj: Your perfect bride/groom is just a click away. Thanks to so many matrimonial sites.

No 6#

Shadi Kal: Father wants to know daughter’s opinion about the boy, for which the shy girl makes a hole on floor with her toe and says “Whatever you feel right is ok with me”. :D

Shadi Aaj: Before father gives his opinion about the boy, girl says “Dad, the guy doesn’t have six-packs and he earns only 1L/month. I feel we should look for some more options.”

No 7#

Shadi Kal: A reason to reject the girl “Yaar, she loves someone else”.

Shadi Aaj: A reason to reject the girl "Dude, she told she is a lesbian :( "

PS: At last, how much ever changes we see in the searching and selection process of bride/groom, still the secret behind a successful marriage is same throughout the years. Empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern is common among all the successful marriages of aaj and kal. :)

Do share your views or any personal experience about the same on comments :D

She is Human!!

My idiot box makes my room lively whenever I go home. That only gives me company for the whole evening when my mom-dad go out for their evening walks. Last time when I was there, one day while having snacks I saw a new daily soap on Sony entertainment television. This serial revolves around a girl, whose family is trying to arrange her marriage. The plot is very much similar to many other serials on air, but that one episode which I saw that night made me think over it.

In that episode, this girl and her family went to a restaurant to meet one prospective groom’s family. After staring at the girl for half an hour boy’s mom took her inside the restroom, as she wanted to check that the girl don’t have any mark on her body. That is embarrassing for any girl and so it was for her. Girl started crying, to which our prospective groom’s mom said “मैं तो आलू भी दस बार जाँच कर खरीदती हूँ | फिर ये तो मेरे बेटे की शादी का सवाल है |” (I even check potato ten times before buying, then this is the question my son's wedding) . And in next episode, boy’s mom took the girl to a gynaecologist for checking her fertility.

“What a piece of crap this is.” I said to myself after watching this. You may also feel the same. Some of you may ask, is this story from some other era. To our surprise, this story is of this era only, and in many small towns in India this is how girls are made to give tests for getting married.

No need to go too far, I know a real life example for the same. This is what happened with one of my friend, when she went to meet the prospective groom’s mom and dad with her family. The guy’s father made her read a book loudly, for checking her reading skills. Damn! She is working with one of India’s largest IT firm, how you can doubt on her reading skills. That was not all. Guy’s mom gave my friend a booklet and asked her to read the digits written on it. To my surprise, that booklet was for color blindness check. I felt so sorry for my friend when I heard this incident. I wonder, this lady wants a life-partner for her son or she is looking for a pilot for their private jet. This was really embarrassing. I must say my friend behaved very patiently, whereas I would have left the place then and there if these tests were conducted over me.

I understand very well that marriage is a lifelong bond. In arranged marriage we cannot trust any stranger that easily, so we check things through our known people. In current time when cheating and fraud rates are so high, it is difficult to believe anyone. Still, this kind of checking is insulting. Because she is a girl, that does not give anyone the authority to treat her like vegetables.

What if the girl’s family also want to know guy’s fertility, make him walk to check that his legs are alright or not, or if they ask the guy to give color blindness test. It will be insulting for him too. He may raise his voice or will reject the girl, as her parents treated him badly. Then why don’t the girls raise their voice against this inhuman behavior and insult.

Time is changing, females are financially independent now. But still they are silently accepting all this insult, as in Indian society from childhood girls are trained to accept such insults and adjust in any situation.

Marriage is the bond of trust. If we don’t trust people and keep checking them, it gives them the feeling of distrust and makes the bond weaker in the beginning itself. We need to trust people to get trusted in return. I would request all the prospective groom’s families, that check things and satisfy yourself as it is the biggest decision in life, but don’t hurt others ego and confidence. You are not in a vegetable market shopping for potato or onion. You are dealing with a girl. Treat her with humanity, as she is also a human.

Hope

Everything was breaking down gradually. It seemed that nothing could stick the pieces back, not even with the strongest glue. Hopes seemed to scatter like the red beads of the necklace you gave, which had broken down with a random strike of your hand. Memories had started to fade….but then that afternoon….one SMS from you…

“Need 2 talk,bt no ntwrk coverage….will contact u soon..”

Stupid me, started collecting all the fragments back, into the hand drawn circle…..waited to be put back again like a jigsaw puzzle…

Eyes stuck on the screen of my dear cell phone….looking for his…”contact u soon”…..seconds flew…minutes flew…..hours, days, weeks, months…..

No soon…..no contact…..

Why?

Did you??

Bring back…….HOPE

My DAD Taught ME! :)

The things in which my father has given me
reach entirely much farther than love and stability.

He has taught me how to wield a hammer,
a tool not only used for hitting nails.

He has taught me how to use a pen,
a weapon much safer with an eye on detail.

He has taught me how to treat my people,
whether they be man, animal, woman or male.

He has taught me how to help others,
and that includes beyond when one might fail.

He has taught me how to never give up,
a trait that strengthens the idea of "prevail".

He has taught me how to be myself,
a person that no other could ever avail.

These and many more are the things in which my father has given me,
and they have all led up to my entire identity.