Was it arranged or a love marriage?

I’m here with a new post finally. Its been months I have posted anything new.During this time so many things happened in my life.I have again changed my place is onething, and that too this time I had to change my Country even. And 2nd best thing is Its gonna be 3 months of my Marriage on coming 16th.
Nevertheless, the questions about my marriage have been many which I had to face before my Marriage. Especially if you are a Bengali, the Durga and Kali Puja is THE time when folks all around you ponder you with questions about your marriage. And again, one question that is common on every tongue, to satisfy the curiosity pent up is: “Is it a love marriage or an arranged one?”
I was a bit surprised that my hubby wasn’t as bothered with this question as I was. Why it didn’t make him so irritated to hear the same question on everybody’s lips! The first few times were Ok. I answered every person patiently, But soon, people’s manner of asking changed. The moment I used to answer “arranged”, there was just a single “Oh!” from them. The initial curiosity and interest seemed to have dissipated into thin air. It seemed like they didn’t want to know more: as if they thought that arranged marriages were less interesting than love marriages! And it’s not as you think, not just the young, there were old Uncles, Aunties and relatives as well who asked this question.

I’m maybe wrong, but somehow the impression that I have got from all those who asked the question is, that they all probably thought that I wasn’t evolved with the ‘modern changing times’ or maybe that I didn’t belong to this generation or my parents must be lying that it was a purely Arranged Marriage! Quite evident, for one girl who asked me this question also replied saying, “Really? I haven’t heard of that for a long time!” While the elders who asked this question, I’m sure wanted to know how less traditional I am!
Well, now that I have got used to answering this question, I can now say that I can only laugh at those who feel arranged marriages are boring; for they are quite the contrary! A very close friend of mine, once told me,” It’s nothing weird. It’s like meeting a new person and making a new friend.” It was a simple comment, but I soon realised how true it was.
Your relationship may not be a four or five year old one, but you’ll be surprised to see how soon you understand the person. You may not have memories to celebrate, but you’ll enjoy every bit of the journey of getting to know each other after the marriage also. You may have a hundred people around you with whom you can share every moment of your life. But now, thanks to fb and phone calls you’ll experience a different pleasure in sharing every moment with your to-be better half, even when you’re in the middle of a room filled with people. You may not have common friends who made the two of you meet, but you’ll be overjoyed when your own friends scold you for not introducing you to the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with or including them enough in the wedding preparations! He may not have proposed to you with a wedding ring, getting down on one knee; but when he shows that he cares through simple gestures when you least expected them- These are the times you believe that arranged or love marriage is not a big question at all. It’s all about whether it’s the right person or not. And now after the months of Marriage I can assure you people that Arranged Marriage is not at all boring. Infact I would suggest you to chose the same path I did.. lol .. Because it carries the excitements of newly wedded for months :p

Oh Kolkata! First Impressions……

Changing the city and the house you live in is definitely not an easy job. Everything around you is new. The city, the people, and the house you live in and even the water you drink! Even more difficult is when you have to think of everything as home; when you sink into your new bed after a tiring day and yearn to feel relaxed; the way you did on your previous bed. It’s one of those transition phases that all of us encounter when we pass from one stage of life to the next and yet living through it is so difficult. I am realising how exactly this feels, as I find myself in a new city, Kolkata, in a new house, which my society says I must call my own. I am living the phase of changing over from Miss to Mrs.

You realise every minute, of the day that this life is new to you. It’s like you’ve been uprooted from your life and planted into someone else’s. As I get accustomed to my new house, answer the phone as someone’s wife, see old photographs of my new family, listen to tales of my husband’s childhood days and meet family friends, it amazes me that so many people existed for so many years and I had no clue of their existence!
An even bigger and daunting change that I have to adapt to is the new city that I live in. The Kolkata that I came on vacation to, for all these years as a Probashi Bengali, is now my new home: a home which I hardly know. As I walk the streets, travel by bus, autos,taxies and the rickshaws exclusive only to Kolkata, it feels funny that this now unfamiliar city was once a place I ardently related to. Now I am a complete foreigner in the city; the only thing common between me and the city is the language Bengali. That is something which never ceases to amaze me; when I realise how I can talk to everyone right from the popcorn fellow at the movie counter to the vegetable vendor in Bengali and not Hindi or Marathi! When I realise that the famous Bengali sweets which made our mouths water back in Pune or Jamshedpur, are all available a street away from my new home. When I hear the cries of the street vendors bringing everything to your door steps and remember my days in Pune, when everything was a car or a bike ride away. When I laugh with amusement looking at the innumerous phuckha and chaat waalas at every street corner and remember how I yearned to taste good phuckhas of Kolkata on my annual Kolkata visit! When I stare in amazement at how Bengalis in Kolkata can manage to have a discussion on who won the recent Chess championship, sitting at the back of a crowded bus, with so much fervour as if their life depended on it! When I am taken aback by how easily Bengalis can blend into your conversation of the various pizza outlets in the city, sitting next to you in the auto having never met you before in their lives or never promising to meet you again. When I have to get used to the fact that my MBA from a ‘certain’ Sinhgad College in Pune draws blank looks on people’s faces here compared to the famous Jadavpur University. When I decide that I have to tell people to stop asking me which sweet from which shop tastes better, because to my Puneri tongue, every Kolkata sweet tastes good!
Despite all this, when people ask me, how find Kolkata, I am unable to answer. I am still unable to compare Kolkata with my previous city Pune. Maybe the answer lies in the fact that in conversation; I still unconsciously bring up Pune and my life there. This transition phase will take its own time to get me accustomed to my new life. Till then, I am sure there is a lot for me to learn, understand and feel. Thus starts ShutterCrazzie’s new life and a new section of my blog:
Oh Kolkata!

How to Hide the Dirty Secrets in your Gadget

Last week, one of my friend's brother, mailed me at night. He asked me if i had ever stored a personal email as a wordpad document. He said he found one while rummaging in a folder in his computer, which he had copied from my laptop when i gave it to him for some repairs long time back. I said yes and asked him to delete it as fast as possible. I hope he did that, because that was some rather embarrassing letters .

So, i wanted to give a few points to gadget users, to avoid embarrassing situations.

How to Hide the Dirty Secrets in your Gadget

• Never ever store porn in your mobile. How ever deep you think you hid the folder. There are people who can always find it, especially those who look for them. Like me.
• Never leave the phone alone when you are in the midst of reading something racy in it. Don't minimize the OperaMini or pdf reader and give it to someone. Its always safe to exit. People will never think its a plot in the story you are reading. To them, its just erotica.
• Do not, for the love of god, create folders inside folders thingy. Easiest trick on book.
• Personal letters, passwords, other details... store it in google notebook or just in your mail. And at least never lose the google password.
• Do not surf your files while in front of 4 year old niece. Or do it carefully. I still remember her laughing as a naked chest of this dude came on screen.
• Always, always clean your download list. And/or torrent list. Name is more than enough to get the wrong idea to anyone who checks.

Now a few tricks to evade detection. Old tricks, but effective, i think. I am not saying i use these.

• Racy reads (including erotica) if in word format, store it after a very normal text and save them together. No one is going to read till the end of anything to find what is in it.
• Videos, to save them from appearing in media search, store as winrar. And take it out when you want to see. (this one was all thanks to a friend of mine who does not wish to reveal her name.)
• Photos can also follow the above option. Especially if its unwanted pics of you which you do not want to show others. I personally suggest not to save any such things of you anywhere. Its not worth the humiliation on detection.